Reflect, Don’t Regret

 

 

The past is a nice place to visit, but no one should live there. We, myself included, sometimes tend to dwell on the past to our detriment.

“Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the Present.”

I first heard this in Kung Fu Panda and it was so poignant to me. We live in a constant state of worry; worry that we might repeat the mistakes of the past; worry that what we’re doing now might ruin our future; worry that we worry too much.

It’s exhausting!!

A few years ago I realised something; accepted really, I accepted that everything that I have, everything that I am, everyone in my life, and everyone that has left (with the exception of death); every, and I mean EVERY ONE, has been as a result of what I did, or didn’t do, what I said, or didn’t say, where I went or didn’t; all has been MY FAULT.

This acceptance brought with it a level of peace that has previously eluded me, and now that I’ve found it can never be lost again.

You made you, just like I made me.

You can’t complain about things in isolation.

The same job that is stressing you out, happens to be the job that sent you on that site visit where you met your wife all those years ago.

The same car that is costly to maintain, but you can’t afford to buy a new one, is the same car that took you to the country last Spring to see your aunt before she died from cancer, the same car that took you to her funeral where you saw cousins you haven’t seen in years.

Nothing exists in a bubble except air; everything has two sides to it, perspective is what forces you to choose a side; good or bad. You cannot live on just one side, else you’ll be constantly delusional or eternally depressed.
Every now and then, you have to flip the coin, see what’s happening in your life because of you and what you’ve done, are doing and continue to do.

I’ve mentioned in a previous post that tyrants don’t start out wanting to be tyrants, but lack of perspective and introspection blinds them to the effects of their actions.

It’s the same with everyone, we only know about tyrants due to the sheer number of people affected. They might affect ten million while you only affect ten; nobody’s going to write an article about that, but their lives are no less important than those in the media, just less popular, less visible, maybe invisible, but not to you, if you took the time to look.
Instead of using the past as an anchor that brings you down, use it as a step to lift you up; a mistake is only bad if you miss the lessen, in other words, miss what was at stake.

Thomas Edison is quoted as saying “I have not failed, I have just found ten thousand ways that won’t work.”
That’s some serious silver lining vision, to make those ‘errors’ work in your and others favours is a seriously enlightened mindset.

Now, I’m certainly not saying that things don’t go bad, and setbacks don’t affect you, no, what I’m saying is that you should accept them, assess them, and then address them. Use them to your advantage, make them work for you, instead of living, dwelling, lingering in them, letting them consume you to the point of lethargy and inaction.
I addressed this partially in my 15:55 post, where I told you to allot a limited amount of time to that thing, that person, that situation, then deal with it and move on. This is the same principle on a much grander scale; that was a day, this, is your life.
Don’t regret your past, it made you what you are today; instead, reflect on your past and use the lessons from it, repeat those that worked, lose those that didn’t.

Jo Armstead has a song called ‘Stepping Stones’ with a chorus that goes, “what took me so long, I just realised my stumbling blocks were stepping stones”

That’s what we’re all missing, we stumble over the block in the dark, not realising we should have been stepping up, getting closer to our goal, instead, we complain, step over or around and continue on the same wrong path; the path of complaining and complacency, blaming everything and everyone in our past, not realising that there is one constant in our past, one that we refuse to look at; us. We are and will always be there.

It’s our fault.

So, the next time you think to blame your past; someone or something in it, flip the coin to see what else you’d lose if that or them hadn’t happened to you, I guarantee you, what you gained is worth more than what you think you lost.

Don’t blame your past, instead, focus on the Present, make sure your future self will look back at now and thank you for this past.

Make sure the future you Reflects, instead of Regrets.

Later.

 

Thanks for indulging my ramblings. If you enjoyed my deliberations, be sure to check out my thriller novels The Martial Art and On Jamaica Government Service on various platforms. They’re available in eBook, Paperback and Hardcover, and Audiobooks coming soon.

However, if you’re having commitment issues, check out my FREE short story, The Martial Art Origins: Severance, available as a free download.

You can explore my site for more interesting content.

Keep Reading. Cheers.

Dane