Over the years I’ve come to realise that the joy of giving last a lot longer than the joy of receiving. The latter lasts as long as the novelty of the gift lasts, that is, until it stops being a ‘gift’ and starts being something you just ‘have’, much like when you buy a brand new car, for the first few months, maybe even a year, it’s a ‘new car’; however, after that, it’s just ‘your car’, then it’s ‘the car’, till eventually it’s that ‘piece a shit car, I need a new one’.
When you ‘give’ something, the joy lasts as long as that person is in your orbit because, ‘they’ remember the gift, and sometimes they remind you of it, maybe not literally, but in their deeds.
There’s a popular phrase that goes as follows:
‘A friend in need, is a friend indeed.’
Now, there has been some debate as to the actual meaning of this phrase, but after some research I’ve found that it’s best broken down as follows:
‘A friend (when you are) in need, is a friend indeed.’
Also, whether it’s ‘indeed’ or ‘in deed’ is also debated, however, it doesn’t detract from the core meaning of the phrase.
So, to my point, as a result of your ‘gift’, you stand to benefit from future ‘deeds’ if ever you are ‘in need’, and that’s how a lot of us give gifts; with the expectation of recompense in equal or greater measure.
A more accurate title for this blog post would have been:
‘Give then Forget’, but that doesn’t have quite the same ring to it; however, what it means is, Give for the sake of giving; not with hope or expectation, just because you thought it would be nice, or you knew they needed it or you saw it and it reminded you of them, or because you could.
We more often than not, end up hurting our own feelings based on expectations we set for others, without knowing their situation, mindset or values; they didn’t ask for the gift, you were the one who decided to give it, so if it wasn’t pure, that’s on you, not them.
I know a lot of people, including myself, are guilty of this; you give something, do something, or treat someone a particular way, and when a similar situation occurs where you could be a recipient, you immediately start imagining what you’re gonna get:
‘I wonder if they’re gonna outdo me.’
‘I hope they know my size.’
‘I hope they don’t think they have to feed me as much as I fed them. One meal will do. But it better be at a nice place.’
When the time comes, whether birthday, anniversary, graduation, visit, whatever equivalent situation, here comes alongside it: disappointment.
Disappointment ‘YOU’ created for yourself. You had no contract, no agreement, no discussion with this person; however, you had expectations, high expectations.
If you had simply given from the heart, from a pure place, you’d be fine; better yet, you’d be so pleasantly surprised if you DID receive something.
So, my friends, the word for today is: Forget.
You’ll find such piece in the land of forgetting; anything you receive will be a new and exciting event, unplanned for and unmeasured; therefore, not disappointing.
Later.
Thanks for indulging my ramblings. If you enjoyed my deliberations, be sure to check out my thriller novels The Martial Art and On Jamaica Government Service on various platforms. They’re available in eBook, Paperback and Hardcover, and Audiobooks coming soon.
However, if you’re having commitment issues, check out my FREE short story, The Martial Art Origins: Severance, available as a free download.
You can explore my site for more interesting content.
Keep Reading. Cheers.
Dane