Family is the new “F” word.
If you don’t understand the above, hopefully you will after this post.
Family is complicated. Complicated is being simplistic. Family exists in a universe of simultaneousness. Yes, that’s a word.
At any given time, Family is the following:
- The best and the worst
- A safe space and a war zone
- A debtor and a creditor
- A Trusted adviser and a malevolent informer
Like I said, complicated doesn’t really capture it.
Now, imagine if you will, you’re a business owner and you find yourself in dire need of a new worker, you open an application and resume and begin reading.
As a professional, you’re able to sift through the jargon routinely used to disguise the true nature of the candidate in question.
Your astute diagnosis leads to the discovery that this potential hire has all the ‘qualities’ listed above.
Are you going to employ this person?
Hell no!!
Yet, without giving it a second thought, we hire our brothers, sisters, fathers and mothers, cousins, aunts and uncles. Add to this the fact that these candidates come pre-sifted; you already know everything they’ve done and everything they’re capable of doing.
Family over everything.
This I believe, is the driving force behind this farce. I call it farce because, though the outcomes can be disastrous, the fact no one saw it coming is downright comedic.
Family over everything should not include common sense. I’m sure some of my readers right now have someone in their Family that they have no problem ‘losing touch’ with.
They’re either pernicious; subtly sowing seeds of sedition within the Family or, they’re the venomous snake everyone avoids as much as possible. Either way, extending an invitation to this individual to be entwined in your source of income is tantamount to madness.
Blood is thicker than water.
Another idiom that is commonly misunderstood and misused in support of Family.
The full saying goes like this:
“The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”
Translation: bonds formed through shared experiences or chosen relationships are stronger than those based on birth or family.
What? That’s the exact OPPOSITE of how the phrase is used. Blood is not literal blood, but the bond you share with someone.
Give them a job?
Go into business with them?
Don’t do it.
Write them a recommendation.
Let them be someone else’s problem.
Please note that all I have highlighted above falls within the realm of the perceivable, in other words, a blind man could see it coming.
But what about those Family members that have mastered the art of deception; knowing what to say, when to say it and to who.
They know the buttons to press to create their desired outcomes, all the while looking as innocent as a lamb.
These are the true terrors; they’re patient. They play the long game. They will conspire for years just to create one outcome at the expense of everything and everyone.
And you want to hire them?
Right now, there are people in your office that don’t like you because they ‘heard’ something about you from a friend of a friend’s cousin in another country; otherwise known as gossip.
You remain blissfully unaware of their feelings toward you and have absolutely no idea that those said feelings kept you from being promoted three times because they’re ‘close’ with someone higher up.
The talented Family members will be carrying a grudge for you because grandpa left you his car when he died. They’d always loved that car and did everything grandpa asked, yet he gave it to you.
Now you have a thriving, rapidly growing business and you need a new store manager, someone you can trust. Then you remember that Family member, he used to be a supervisor at one of those Big-Box stores, but he got laid off 2 months ago and is going through a rough patch.
You could help him, and he could help you.
You hire him, unaware he still bears a grudge, a grudge that has only gotten bigger over time. You have now unwittingly created an opportunity for him to either destroy your business or take it from you.
Either way, he’s been patiently waiting years for a chance to “F” you up.
I knew a woman that had a small, decently profitable business which she ran with her sister. She also employed her brother as a courier/bearer. Among other things, he would deposit the days earnings in the bank.
You know how this went, right?
Yes, he stole. With the use of falsified documentation, he pocketed the cash and deposited the cheques, a scheme which was only discovered following an audit because the owner was having trouble reconciling with the bank.
Of course she fired him, but she couldn’t bring herself to have him arrested.
FAMILY!
There are many successful Family run businesses that have stood the test of time, such as, Walmart, Mars, Samsung and Carnival Corporation just to name a few.
However, I am certain that their survival has been hinged on an established policy of separation between Family and Business; that’s the only way such an arrangement can remain viable.
When I’m home you call me dad, but at work it’s Mr. Dad.
Folks, be wary, Family can be scary.
Starting a business is already hard, why install further barriers.
Just like the church and the state, Family and Business should be separate.
Later.
Thanks for indulging my ramblings. If you enjoyed my deliberations, be sure to check out my thriller novels The Martial Art and On Jamaica Government Service on various platforms. They’re available in eBook, Paperback and Hardcover, and Audiobooks coming soon.
However, if you’re having commitment issues, check out my FREE short story, The Martial Art Origins: Severance, available as a free download.
You can explore my site for more interesting content.
Keep Reading. Cheers.
Dane