ACCEPTance

 

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.” This is a quote from the famous writer, Mark Twain.

I’d like to paraphrase him a little; the two most important days are your birthday and your worth-day.
Worth-day; when you know what you’re ‘worth’ to the world and more importantly, to yourself.

But this, ain’t about that. This post is about the opposite.

Now, while most persons may never find out the ‘why’ of life or what they’re ‘worth’, there are some that do. Some do early on, for example Michael Jackson started singing at the age of 5, while there are others like Colonel Saunders who opened his first KFC franchise at the age of 62.

These critical ‘aha’ moments represent turning points in our lives and we must always be on the lookout for them. However, these moments for the most part, happen once, maybe twice in a lifetime.

Here’s the catch, these moments only happen when you’re ready to receive them. You’ll never know you were meant to be a great singer, if you’ve never tried karaoke, sang in church or auditioned for that talent show you watch every week.

You have to be ready to receive the blessing.

That being said, let’s talk about what we’re here to talk about.

ACCEPTance.

Sometimes you have to ACCEPT that you’re in the wrong place. Whether it is the wrong job, wrong relationship or even the wrong country.

You need to sit in silence and allow your mind to guide you to what you know deep down to be true.

You’re not where you’re supposed to be.

Remember the Matrix? Red pill or blue pill?

You see, as humans we’re hardwired to be habitual, we love routines.

You wake up, wash your face, have breakfast, have a shower, get ready for work, kiss your loved ones goodbye, jump in your car or taxi or bus, go to work. Then you perform that mundane, safe, habitual task, after-which, you reverse course, make your way home, have dinner, get ready for bed, then: rinse and repeat.

Have you ever had a headache that was like right below the surface of noticeability, you know it’s there, but you have to think about it to feel it. It’s not severe enough for you to take a pill or visit the doctor, it’s just this low hum you feel, like when you’re throttling in traffic, sitting in your well-maintained car.

It’s there, but easily ignored.

That’s what it’s like when deep down you know you’re out of place or time, but you’ve become complacent in the routine, so you don’t investigate, don’t wonder, don’t wander. You just keep trudging along because it’s safe.

There’s a quote attributed to author John A. Shedd that goes like this, “A ship in harbour is safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.”

The first time I read that quote, I repeated it in my head multiple times, just to get the full weight of it.

Sitting in our routine, our habits, our safe spaces, is like a ship sitting in the harbour. Safe from the weather, pirates, engine failure and any number of other tragedies that can befall a ship at sea.

However, this ship will never transport the grain needed by a starving nation, will never transport the containers loaded with the goods you ordered from China or Germany or Amazon. No, it just sits there, floating. Much like you at that desk, stamping or typing or signing. In that relationship where you barely talk, except for the occasional ‘I love you’ and the peck on the cheek.

You know you want something more, but fear of the unknown is the most powerful deterrent in the world. You spent all this money going to school, yet you’re afraid to ask for a promotion or go out and find another company that knows your ‘worth’.

You’ve been flirting with that girl for a while now, but it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, but you stay in her orbit in the hopes she’ll realise your ‘worth’

I wrote a quote on my status the other day, a quote that came out of a discussion with friends regarding women’s treatment of so-called ‘nice guys’. The quote went like this: ‘Nice guys finish last because they’re in the wrong race.’

This again speaks to ACCEPTance. Sometimes you need to cut your losses and move on, if it’s not meant to be, no amount of scheming, praying, planning or gifting is going to change that.

Jamaican’s have a saying, “what is fi yuh, cannot be un-fi yuh.” For my non patois-speaking readers, “if it’s meant to be, it’ll be” is a good translation.

Let me give you a simple analogy, imagine your life is a book filled with different chapters, going up to oh say, 70, then comes the ‘The End’ page, and we know what that is.

Sitting in your safe harbour is akin to you reading chapter 1 every day without ever moving on to the next. You know this chapter by heart, you know exactly what will happen next, or so you think.

The thing about that page called ‘The End’ is that it can happen after chapter 70, chapter 6, or before you even finish chapter 1.

One morning someone wakes up and flips chapter 1 for the umpteenth time, but today is the day they never reach the last page. ‘The End’ popped up right in the middle of the beginning.

I’m killing you with quotes today: “Time is the only currency you spend without ever knowing your balance. Use it wisely.” Not sure of the origin of this quote, but someone sent it to me as an Instagram reel.

Think about that. We’re just going about our day-to-day with no concern that tomorrow may never come. That’s crazy! No one truly knows what waits for us in the ‘after-life’, but imagine if you could, a scenario where you had a chance to reflect on your life and your choices while in this ‘after-life’.

Do you think you’d be happy with the choices you’re making now, or would you change something, change somewhere, change someone?

I know it’s a heavy question, but it’s a necessary one. Sometimes we need to stop and look around, look around at our lives and the things and people that we have filled it with. We need to assess the ‘worth’ of us to them and them to us.

Now, I’m not saying you should up and quit your job, leave your spouse, stop talking to that guy or girl. No, I’m saying take the time to figure out what it is you really want out of life, then chart a course towards it.

Set intermediate goals to ensure you’re on the right path. If your goal is to lose weight, set your goal weight, but keep records of your progress, otherwise you’ll be demotivated. If you say you want to ultimately lose 100 pounds, set a goal to lose 10 pounds per month, so when you check it in 5 months, you won’t reach the 100, but you might be close to 50. That will tell you how far you’ve come. That will show your progress, your march toward your goal.

If it means that eventually, you’re going to leave that person, place or thing, then so be it, but let it be deliberate, let it be true, to you. Only you can save yourself, no one else.

If you know me, you know I love music and there are so many songs that speak to the road not taken and the life unfulfilled, as well as, the benefits of making the hard choices. A few of my favourites are Bon Jovi’s – It’s My Life, Katy Perry’s – Roar & Firework, Survivor’s – Eye of The Tiger and Rachel Platten’s – Fight Song.

I hope we can all find our ‘worth’ and pursue it with indecent haste and unbridled passion. When we do, we’ll be able to look ourselves in the mirror and sing this song from one of my favourite Jamaican artists, Agent Sasco – Winning Right Now.

So, my friends, cast off the lines, raise the anchor and shove off.

Do what you were meant to do. You and the world will be better for it.

 

Thanks for indulging my ramblings. If you enjoyed my deliberations, be sure to check out my thriller novels The Martial Art and On Jamaica Government Service on various platforms. They’re available in eBook, Paperback and Hardcover, and Audiobooks coming soon.

However, if you’re having commitment issues, check out my FREE short story, The Martial Art Origins: Severance, available as a free download.

You can explore my site for more interesting content.

Keep Reading. Cheers.

Dane